Some don't even have the chance to live.

Woken up by a phone call at 9.20 in the morning. At the other end, was my mum sobbing and I knew something was not right. But, never in a million years I would think that the sobbing was because of my dog although I knew that she'll be gone sooner rather than later.

She went through many visits to the doctor this whole year and the doctor even told us to be ready. I knew I should have braced myself back then, but I didn't. I took advantage of the fact that she's still around. Walking, eating and breathing under the same roof as me. How do you ready yourself to say goodbye?

She was with me since November 12th, 2006. My parents and I went all the way to Penang just to pick her up. It's been 5 years since then. I had her around for 5 years. She was with me when I had my hair curled like an aunty, straightened like a school girl and cut like a boy. She was with as I went through high school and through college. She was with me when I fell in love and when I was devastated. She was always there and at the most critical time, I wasn't at home enough. For the past 1 year, I barely played with her, let alone feed her. I was too busy going out or hiding in my room, in front of my computer.

She loves to hover around whenever we're eating. Looking at us with that pitiful eyes of hers, wanting to have some share as well. She could smell food from miles away. Sometimes, even before the food was served, she would walk around the kitchen - around us to be precise - hinting to us that she wants some. Her soft fur would brush on our legs whenever we sit on the floor to eat in front of the television.

Whenever we go out, she would stay outside, watch us until our car leaves before going back into the house. We used to bring her everywhere but stopped bringing her out due to inconvenience. And every time we arrive home, she would be outside, greeting us and then running back into the house as if to race us in - she always have to be the first one to get inside. And every Saturday after my parents come back from my grandparent's house in KL, she would be extra excited because she knows that there will be food for her. She eats and loves everything edible. She loves pork, fruit cake and festive food for example Mooncake and Ba Kua.

She loves company, although some people don't really enjoy her company. She's an awesome companion. When she was younger, she used to go up the stairs and slept on the same mattress as me and there are times where I would accidentally kick her while sleeping - sorry!

She loves playing with her toys. Playing fetch with my mum every Sunday morning. Though she's so lazy that she'll stop further and further from where the toy was thrown and we have to go to her to get it in order to throw it again - such a pig.

All she does the whole day when we're not around is sleep. And because she sleeps too much in the morning, she refuse to sleep at night. Then she would start making noises that annoy the heck out of us. But we still love her nevertheless.

I can't believe she's gone. She was fine when I got home the night before. Watching at me as I sneaked through the door and then up to my room. That was the last I've seen of her breathing. I didn't even pat her. Didn't even play with her. I didn't even call her name and tell her goodnight. I should have followed my parents for breakfast this morning, maybe I would have seen her and touched her then. But of all days, today I said "no" to following my parents for breakfast.

No more cleaning up your mess every morning as soon as I wake up. No more eyes watching me as I eat. No more barking in the morning to wake me up so that I can open the door for you to go outside. No more barking so that I would carry you upstairs. No more barking to be with someone when there's a thunder.

It feels so different now that you're not around. When I eat, I think of how you would hover around. The house seem so different without your presence. No more newspaper lying around so that you'll do your business, though you rarely use them. No more bowls of water everywhere for you. No more walking carpet moving around the house. No more greetings upon arriving home.

Rest in peace my little one. I miss you already.

Mum used to say we both have similar sets of teeth.

You love eating very much.

Your first haircut.

Goodnight. Sleep well.

You will be missed.